Please speak slowly, my heart it learning....

2:17PM - Spinning in circles....

Life is so hectic, I can't even deal.

There are a gazillion things going on, and if i tried to explain, i'd take up about 100 pages of LJ.


Craig always told me that I had some weird sixth sense....and I'm really starting to believe him. Just little things, everytime I had a dream that he talked to his ex, she would call the next day. I had a dream that he went out with some girl he worked with, and the night I had the dream, he went out with someone the next office over....and then last night, well, same sort of thing, just nothing i want to share. Is that weird? Can I put this to good use some how??

(2 Liars | love me)

11:39AM - goodbye to yooooooooooooou

Hi everyone. Who misses me?

So I have chronic tonsillitis....and they have to be removed on December first. Who is goign to be on call for ice pop runs???? What am I gonna do not being able to talk for a few days? It's gonna KILL me.

(1 Liar | love me)

1:02PM

Hi guys. So, I'm actually updating my journal!

I don't even know what my last post was about...maybe I should have read it before i posted.


So one month ago was my SECOND surgery in 6 months. Let me just tell you how NOT fun that was. Endometriosis really is one of the most painful things a woman could go through. I am glad that I am hopefully all better now, but I'm still on heavy restriction. I can't lift anything, or even go back to the gym for another 2 weeks. And if i do over exert myself, i pay for it later on. Last weekend Craig and I went for a bikeride and that night, i was in the WORRRRRSSSSSSSSSST pain. My doctor just said that it is normal and that is my body telling me to slow down and not do the same thing tomorrow. He said even if i feel better, I'm not yet. He did a lot of "digging" in there. He showed me pictures, and ew ew ewwww. It looks like little red sores on your tissue...but they grow down into your tissue, so it was like digging. Ugh, I'm so squeemish about stuff like this. but ANYWAY, hopefully i will have a full recovery soon.

Let me just say that Craig is the best. He has been so amazing throughout this entire thing. I don't know what I'd do without him. He has been there every step of the way. He was there with my parents at the hospital with me. I was soooooo nervous before i went in for surgery and i was jut crying, but he helped me calm down. He's just amazing.

In other news, I'M GETTING A NEW CAAAAAAAAAR!!!!! For those of you who don't know, I am now currently driving a 2002 VW Beetle. I leased it brand new 3 years ago. And now, my lease is up. So I bought a SCION XB. In case you are asking what the hell that is, it's those lil mini trucks that are box shaped. I can't explain it any better than that. but yeah. Jax and I went up to the Scion in Kingston....and then I had to go all the way to Yonkers to test drive it. And scion is becoming such a hot seller, you can't just go buy one off of a lot. You have to build it online,and then the dealer sends that to the makers....and they build your car. How awesome is that???? It worked out perfect for me since I had a month before i needed my car.(my lease for the vw is up on june 28th)....so i will be giving my beetle back a week early and will pick up my scion on the 21st...that's a week from tomorrow. woooooo hoooooooo. once i get it, ill post pics.

anyway, sorry this was boring. kudos if you made it all the way through it.

Byeeeeeeee!

(3 Liars | love me)

10:20AM

Hey guys. It has been forever since I have updated. I just cannot commit to updating all the time. Tomorrow is surgery for me at Greenwich hospital. Surgery number 2 in five months. My other doctor turned out to be a hack....which is scary. So yeah, I am going to be meeting with a lawyer about this guy. Other than that, I've been great. Craig and I are doing wonderfully, and living with his is so much fun.

I've got to go shower.

(2 Liars | love me)

4:08PM

Who misses me?!?!?!?!


I don't yet have a computer at my house. Sooooooo I'm only online at my mom's. I do keep up on reading your entires, just never really post.

Things with me are good. Valentin'es day was great <3. I have the best boyfriend. I got the most BEAUTIFUL flowers ever. And "The Notebook" and some other fun things. And we went to Aroma and had 2 bottles of red wine. weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!

Working a lot. I'm going to take my real estate class on March 7th. NO more dental, yaaaay!

Ill post more later, I"m in a silly mood.

<3 MIss you all

(love me)

4:08PM

Post a memory of me.
It can be anything you want, it can be good or bad,
just so long as it happened.

[Then post this to your journal. See what people remember about you.]

(3 Liars | love me)

7:47PM - I'm homeeeeeeeeeeeee

Hey everyone!!!

I just got home from my cruise to Bermuda.

Was a lot of fun. Sooooooo tired though. I'm going to post a big post soon.

I rented a moped. And they drive on the other side of the road! Sooooooo much fun.
Missed my baby though. He told me he LOVED ME!!! ahhhhhh. isn't that great? I'm loved. =) I love him too, obviously, hence my excitement that he told me that!

anyway. ill update soon.

(love me)

2:30PM

I'm baaaaaack!

 

Who missed me? Not that i really went anywhere. Just haven't been keeping up with the ol LJ.

 

So my summer's been good. Basically working a ton. Mostly bartending though, and it's so much fun, and great money, so I cna't complain. Just went to Newport Rhode Island with my Craig a couple weeks ago. We had such a great time. We were super close before hand, but being with one person for 5 days straight, with no breaks, no one else around, is really amazing if you really care for the person. You really get to know them, on like a new level.

( Here I'm going to go on and on about him =) )

(love me)

12:28PM - Theeeeee yankeeeeeeeeeeees win....but they really lost.

I went to the Yankee game last night with my darling <3 It was fun. i love being able to do fun things like that with him. He keeps telling me I'm how a girl should be. Which is a super nice compliment, especially coming from a guy who had a gf for 5 years. It's nice to know that even though he was with someone for so long, he's been able to let go of it and find someone else. Which is me. yaaaaay. Don't get me wrong, there was a lot of time in between us, like 2 years. So yeah.

Anyway! NIIN is playing tomorrow night @Crannell. And I have off of work. I didn't request off, because I wasn't sure I wanted to go, but I had off randomly, which is like a sign that I should go. I know Craig won't like it though. Not that anything wll happen for him not to like it, and he trusts me, but I know the whole time I'm there, he's gonna be like worried. As I would as well. Bah, i dunno.

Paid the rest of my balance for my trip. Sept. 18th can't come soon enough. Going on a cruise to Bermuda. It is my favorite place in the world. been there a few times already, it's gorgeous. I want to go swimming. Our pool is finally up, but there is no ladder/deck. Craig is actually building our deck. How fun is that? He sat down with my parents and stuff, it was adorable how nervous he was. but yeah, he used to work with a framer. So he knows whats up. Maybe i could just jump over the side of the pool, bc I'm hot.....


IF anyone got all the way thru this, congrats. Bc this was a boring entry =)

(1 Liar | love me)

5:52PM

Hi, Ryan Cabrera, will you marry meeeeeeeeeeeeee?

I told Jax that I like him more than William*gasp*. She was happy. But when he goes on tour, Jax, and Andie, you girls need to come with me. Front row center. Because once he realizes Ashlee Simpson has nothing on me, he'll be mine =)

(2 Liars | love me)

1:00PM - hiiiiiiiiii!

Hey everyone!

Just figured I'd give a quick update.

Things around here are good. Work's fun. I love bartending. Making lots of money this summer.

My paretns are going away for a week tomorrow! Yay, I'm cooking Craig dinner tomorrow night. He's actually out right this minute buying us a couple bottles of wine! woo hoo. We're going to have some sleepovers this week, hahah woo hoo =)

Tim is really missing me lately. He texts and IMs me everyday with I miss you, have a great day, mwah, you're beautiful. blah blah. I feel really bad, but what would you like me to do? He knows about craig and supposedly respects that.

So did I tell all of you I went to NYC to ride in a horse and buggy? oh yeah i did! And then we had a romantic dinner. yay. I've honestly never done half the things we do. we do such fun, exciting things. Even when we're just laying around doing nothing, i have the best time. I'm a dork!!


haha, more later. I hafta shower and go to work!

(love me)

1:57PM - Don't you see that this charade is over?

I havne't updated in foreeeeeeeever! I always do this.

I have a bunch on my mind. So i may just incoherently ramble.

So, I'm pretty sure we're all just about at that age where most of us have baggage. As far as relationships go, that is. Here I am, with basically one serious relationship under my belt. That relationship being Tim. I also had the on again/off again Dan thing. Which, I would basically call a thing, because I have no other idea what I would call it. And then here I am in a new relationship with someone. And he is more threatened by dan than of Tim. He said the way I spoke of the past with Dan was different than that of Tim. Which I guess it is. So, my real baggage comes from Dan. How can I have baggage from someone who was never really even mine?  I dunno. I just think it's wierd how things work out.

 

But as far as this new thing goes, wow. I'm incredibly happy. And it's not even like momentarily smitten. It's a genuine happy, which I don't think I ever encountered. And we decided it was strictly him and stricly me. So that's wonderful. <3

 

So I've been on a kick lately where I realllllllly have to move out. Just because I need to buy my dog, Mumbles. I've wanted him forever, and I will have him!!!!

(love me)

6:11PM - Shake down...

So SoCo was amazing as usual. I had such a wonderful time too. It's nice to go to a concert, and know every single word to every single song. It's even nicer when you share the evening with a special someone =)  Things with Craig and I are going amazingly. Its in some weird way really surprising.

jaxhurls99  and andie483 , what do you think of him???

 

I was pretty drunk by the end of the night. We didn't get to the Chance until the last song of the band before SoCo, which rocked. We ended up going to the Dutch beforehand for a few drinks. There was no way I was going to stand on line and watch 2 shitty bands. Then, I drank at the show, and then we went to Mulligan's afterward. Then, back to Craigs. I got in at about, 415. lol oops.

 

Anyway, I'm not really in the mood to update. I just wanted to say hi=)

 

Goin to Newburg tonight to the WAterfront with all my people{my boy included}. It should be fun. There is a band playing. I dunno, I'm excited.

(2 Liars | love me)

6:48PM

Happy 21st Andie =)

 

Just a few more days until our trip to NYC , soooooooo excited.

 

Hope you enjoy your day...Go out and have a drink, just because you can.....

 

*hugs*

(2 Liars | love me)

5:14PM

things are so weird lately.

I feel as if I don't know anyone, I don't even know myself.

Things with everyone are so complicated I can't even begin to type them.

I need to get away.

Tomorrow I'm having lunch in NP with Jax and Andie, that should be a good time. And even our mini trip to NYC on the 29th to see YC and SoCo will be so good for me. Just to go somewhere new...sigh

(love me)

9:49PM

That was just heart breaking. Tim and I decided we would go out to dinner tonight. He called around 6 and asked if I'd meet him at Rolling Rock since he was just getting out of work. I was trying to be strong, but I couldn't. On my way there, I had to call my friend James and have him calm me down. I was sitting in my car and Tim pulled up next to me, as I'm on my cell phone,and I just start balling. I had it semi together when I got out of the car. It was awkward. It was just mind boggling to sit across from my bestfriend in the world, and feel like I have no idea who was sitting there. Ya know? I've known him for so long, but suddenly I don't know who he is. And I don't know who I am to him. We talked a little bit about things. Not too much though. Just basically the same thing as he wants me to be happy. and he wants to make me happy but he can't do that right now, and if i find happiness in someone else, he'll support me. But he does want to date sometime in the future if that is where this entire thing takes us. The goodbye was really hard. Ever since we've been together, I have this thing where I buy him boxers, for everything. Every holiday, he has boxers for. It's just my "lil thing". So back in feb. at danbury, i bought him st. patrick's day boxers and a cute lovey irish card. I had them in my back seat tonight. So after we walked out, we started up our cars, and I gave him the stuff, and we said goodnight. We hugged for a good 10 minutes. I just told him to keep hugging me. It was really like a movie scene. It was one of those hugs where you can't really breathe...my nose was buried into his chest, and I was just balling. I was in hysterics. Just holding him again hurt so bad. And I was balling. I got out of the hug, kissed his cheek and just ran into my car, without looking back. I got in my car, started it, put my head in my hands for a quick second, wiped my tears, and sped away. He was watching me, I felt him want to say something before I left, but I didn't give him the oppurtunity. I couldn't. I cried the whole way home. Not even at the fact that he's not longer my boyfriend. IT's just that a chapter of my life is over. Even if we do get back together someday, that's going to be a whole new relationship. I've never had such closure in a relationship before. Right now, it's over . I just can't grasp that yet. Even the book of Dan is still open. It's never had that final hurrah. I'm going to see Taking Lives. I can't type this right now. And where is Scott? And why are my journal entries just rambles and Katy's are so beautifully written?

(1 Liar | love me)

2:31PM

Theme songs of your life by eponine
your name?
love song:	brown eyed girl - van morrison
depressing song:	don't speak - no doubt
party song:	i wanna be bad - willa ford
what-the-hell-ever song:	nobody's fool - avril lavigne
your life	fire and rain - james taylor
Created with quill18's MemeGen 3.0!

That is insane....on so many levels....especially"BROWN EYED GIRL"....I'm almost speechless.

(love me)

3:30PM - You say you like to hear the rain sometimes...

It's so weird....People's voices...I think we take them for granted. No two people sound the same, and it's weird, because you get so used to hearing voices, you don't realize how amazing they are. Don't ask what brought this on. I was just cleaning out my voicemailbox, and I listened to old voicemails that I've saved. I didn't even end up erasing them, but still. Old ones from Tim, that end with 'I love you', which I'll probably not hear for a long time. Recent ones from Dan that always will make me smile. And old one from Paul, Dan, Richie and Ken just calling to tell me that they love me so much, me and my crazy ass. I can't believe how much of Dan I let go of. It's nice to be on the right track with him again. He will always be one of my bestfriends no matter what happens. I can go weeks, even a month without talking to him, and when we finally get ahold of each other, we're so happy to talk to each other, and it just picks up like we never stopped talking. That's just such an incredible feeling to have someone like that in your life. A true friend, that can turn into so many different things. The options are exciting.

Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone. Tonight will be a wonderful night shared with tons of friends over at Mulligan's Irish House. I'm there just about once a week, and to spend today at an Irish house I'm a regular at, will be so much fun. My sister is coming up from yonkers to hang out too. Yay!Not to mention, my Irish Dreamboy will be there, of course. I loooooove hanging out with him. He is honestly the nicest, cutest, most genuine boy I have ever known. Yippppppe. We're going public with our Sinatra dancing skills tonight too. hehe. It's nice to feel giddy about a boy again, it makes me feel so young and innocent.


So for those of you who don't realize by now, Tim and I are on a break. I don't know if it is permanent or just temporary. I guess only time will tell. But for right now, I'm focusing on having fun. I'm not talking fun with other guys, or looking to go out and kiss lots of people. Just having fun, being me. I don't think I realized how many things and people I let go during Tim and I's 10 month run. I need to learn to be independant again. It's liberating to know I'm on my own. I can't depend on anyone but myself.

I'll figure it out. No pressure.

(7 Liars | love me)

7:46PM

So here goes an update.

I was in the crankiest mood ever today. PMS is such a lovely thing. usually it doesn't get this bad, but the shit weather must of had a hand in it!

My mommy just baked me some chocolate chip cookies, so yipppppppppe for that.

School is going well. It's very hard, and so much to learn but I love it. I have to know basically everything a dentist does, so i can assist him. So it's a lot of material to cover. Going very well though. 3 Tests, 3 90%. I always miss one stupid stupid question that is like a trick. gr! And we've been mixing a lot of materials and my teacher says I'm wonderful at putting correct amounts. A lot of materials you need to mix quickly and apply them before they harden and such. So that's fun. Okay, I'm sitting here talking about bonding agents and DyCal.


ANYWAY! Things with Tim are wonderful <3. Almost 9 months!! His birthday is on Saturday, he is turning 25! I've decided we're having a surprise party for him. His roomie and I are putting all the plans together. He is going to Long Island to see his mother on Saturday afternoon for a lunch type of thing. So he should be back up here around 7 or 8 to spend some QT with me, hehe. Saturday afternoon I am going down to Yonkers to visit my sister. She just got a brand new apartment. 1 Bedroom. Brand new building. And downstairs of her building, they have like a Krispy Kreme and like a restuarant and a bar! How fun is that!??! I don't know if I'd be able to live alone...such solitude. Like, I was thinking today. She had to buy EVERYTHING you could imagine. Even with everyone's gifts for her, she started from scratch basically. Tomorrow she gets her TV. Her phone will be turned on Thursday. She doesn't have a kitchen, or dining room set yet. She really only has a brand new living room/entertainment set. So her living room is done, minus the TV. And she has her entire bedroom all set. But no tv. No computer since she has a laptop but no phone yet. Not like I watch Tv at all, but still. She has her cell phone. No one around. Just herself. I Guess it'd be nice every once in awhile, but I don't think I could live like that. Hmm, interesting to think about it though, what I would do, how I would spend my time. Hmm.

I cannot wait until July. Looks like I'm def. getting a place with Erin! yaaaaaaay! I dunno why, but lately I've felt such a need to be on my own. I love my family to death, and I'm never really home anyway, but still. I'm a 20 year old girl who wants out!!!

I basically live at Tim's. Yet, it's kinda dumb when he comes here, since my paretns are here, ya know? I dunno, I cannot explain it. Last night, Dan called while Tim and I were cuddling on the couch. I asked Tim to reach me my purse, my mom was supposed to callme, and he picked it up and it said Dan. Needless to say, I did not answer. It was just odd. Blast from the past if you think about it...haven't talked to him since like 1st week in November. Odd....oh well.

What's good for Valentine's Day? I've never really had a boyfriend for one. Except in 11th grade when I was dating Brian Lange....We went to Olive Garden with another couple because neither of us could drive. lol. It was basically like "ill see you in school" type of deal. hahah. But yeah. I'm sure Tim will plan everything, but still. What do couples normally do? Just dinner? hahah, im so out of the loop

How do you post pics? I have some cute ones!

(love me)

6:29PM

Last post of 03....


This year has just been amazing. Without going into too much detail....at the beginning of this year, I was someone who I don't even recognize anymore. There have been so many positive changes.


Best thing of 03: Tim. Definately. Lots of those positive changes are because of him.

Worst thing of 03: losing my grandfather....and a best friend...well, I guess really 2 best friends.


Happy New Year everyone ! Be safe!

(love me)